Dharma lessons I learned from my cat
I misplaced my beloved orange cat Rusty final June. There’s one thing a few relationship with a pet that’s so completely different from any with people. Aside from his sister, Bella, I used to be Rusty’s complete world. He needed nothing extra than simply to be with me. It’s like he took it on as his complete life’s function to like me.
And he all the time appeared so indescribably SAD each time I needed to shut a door between us.
Very early in our time collectively, he found out that the ring of my meditation timer bell meant a lap was obtainable. Quickly after the “bong”, I’d hear the mild padding of paws approaching. Then I’d really feel him hop up onto my lap. He’d circle just a few instances earlier than settling in, however he all the time discovered the right place to soften his complete heat furry physique onto mine. He confirmed me what full and utter belief appeared like. I devoted a particular yellow towel to placed on my lap to verify there was no hole for him to fall by means of.
Earlier than lengthy, we developed a each day routine of sharing a silent house collectively, simply the 2 of us. It was our favourite time of day.
It’s now almost a yr since his passing, and I nonetheless put the yellow towel on my lap to meditate. I so miss him.
Coping with ache and grief
I’ve learn someplace that the depth of 1’s grief is the same as the depth of 1’s love. Rusty actually did contact into me in a means no human ever may. He broke my coronary heart large open – to his deep unconditional love, and now, the equally deep ache of his loss.
One of many Buddha’s elementary teachings is to keep away from clinging to the issues of this world. Not as a result of it’s dangerous or improper. Utilizing grief for instance, it’s as a result of it’s too straightforward to let a pure and unavoidable ache balloon into self-created tales that worsen our struggling.
Worldly and unworldly ache
The Buddha additionally distinguished between “worldly” and “unworldly” ache. On the one hand, I may permit this hurting coronary heart to drag me down into pining, sluggishness, loneliness, and so forth. That is “worldly” ache as a result of it retains me tied right down to a restricted (i.e. “worldly”) view of my emotions and ideas.
However I may additionally use this ache as a doorway to a much bigger “unworldly” perspective. The day after he died, I cleaned and packed away his meals dish and litter field. I shampooed the rug he had vomited and pooped on throughout his lengthy sickness. I discarded his meds on the prescription drug disposal. By doing all this stuff, I slowly let it sink in that he was gone, by no means to return. He, like all issues, is impermanent.
I additionally see on reflection how he approached his dying course of with such dignity. I’m fairly sure he knew he was dying. And he appeared so matter of reality about it. He was in quite a lot of ache, however he stored up his “job” of loving me for so long as he may muster. I knew it was time to take him to the vet for the final time when his consideration appeared to shift to some faraway place. He appeared able to go. No concern, no preventing, no clinging. Simply complete acceptance.
What Rusty taught me
After I adopted Rusty years in the past, I had no concept that he can be such an incredible dharma instructor to me. Not solely did he train me what love appeared like, he additionally confirmed me the right way to dwell gracefully with the reality of impermanence. And that the best way to peace is thru letting go of what we can not management. He taught me the right way to be with painful issues, and remodel them from worldly ache to unworldly perception.
I’m nonetheless grieving, and suspect I’ll for a protracted, very long time. Alternatively, his sister Bella continues to be with me. And I believe one massive factor I can do to honor Rusty is to like his sister the best way he liked me. However he additionally confirmed me what it appears like to easily be a loving presence for others. And that’s a present that continues to unfold for me.
Relaxation in peace, Rusty. I’ll be eternally grateful for the whole lot you gave me.